Wedding planning

There are so many blogs about the stages brides go through while planning a wedding. They are mostly hilarious, and completely true. While planning a wedding you have three choices, either play by everyone else’s rules and keep the peace, make a decision purely based on what you (and your fiancé) want or you can play the game of compromise. This is a delicate balance of what we want and what will keep the peace between family, friends and each other.

At any given moment we are balancing between two or three stages so happy and blissfully thinking about our forever, arguing about what shade of teal will look best or collectively agreeing on we are willing to let others decide since we don’t have the time for this. The good news is we are able to get passed the arguments and have settled on the few things that are really important to us and we are letting the other pieces (hopefully) just fall into place.

Things no one tells you about being engaged…

1. You will always feel like you aren’t doing enough planning.

2. Or that you’re doing too much (this often depends on whether your friends are also planning weddings).

        3. You will constantly stare at your ring (it’s shiny and beautifully distracting).

       4. Which also means that your left hand suddenly becomes very useful and you find yourself using it way more than before (it’s just prettier to look at now).

       5. You start using terms like ‘save the date’, ‘head count’ and ‘the feel of the wedding’ more than you probably should.

      6. You will start to care about things that you never thought were possible to care about before (the colour of someone else’s shoes? Yip, things like that) and then if your future husband dares to disagree (and this will happen at least once) you will freak out only to realize you are arguing about the font used for a return label on the wedding invitation (I’m embarrassed to admit that this totally happened).

      7. You start to regret any judgment you ever passed on someone else wedding as you now realize who much is involved in planning ‘the best day of your life’.
    
      8. You get to a point where ‘ANYTHING IS FINE” because nothing is what I envisioned (even though I cannot explain cos I don’t know what I was envisioning but it wasn’t that.)

      9. You begin to enjoy the process again, and then your finance says something that makes you stop and wonder…

A few of my gems…

“All my friends said” (which by the way when a man starts a sentence with all my friends said …it is a warning that something stupid is about to leave their mouth) “that we only need like 5 or 6 nice wedding pictures so we only need a photographer for like an hour or so”

“Can’t we just send Facebook invites?”

“You make-up and hair look fine every day, are you just going to do it yourself?” (Which for the record a girl never wants to be ‘fine’ unless that fine comes in the form of a tone that tells a girl she looks hot as heck)

10. You begin to realize that the day, the party and all that comes with it, is not nearly as important as the person you are going to marry. And if you know you found your person, your one…it’s a great feeling.

All kidding aside, I really enjoyed planning both my weddings as I knew Tyler & I were blessed to have so many family and friends interested in celebrating our love and our lives together.

Wedding dress shopping

This should also be referred to the day you discover every emotion, feeling or thought possible, in a short time frame and realize that your wedding day vision greatly differs from those around you. 

Omg! Today we are going dress shopping *happiness*. 

to the dress

I wonder if I’ll find my dress *excitement*. 

Then you arrive and the questions start and the doubt creeps in…

Do you want ivory or white *now you start to weigh up the pros and cons of each, while freaking out about the look and feel you are hoping to achieve for the wedding*

What fabric are you looking for *seriously, I don’t even know what options are out there*

What about this *the mermaid look, hell no!*

Or this * Bows? No! Flowers? No! Frills? No! Why is this dress brown?? Rose…okay, well it still looks brown to me...nope way too short!*

Not a fan

I love this dress! How much it is? *okay wait, maybe I just like it…*

Let’s just look at dresses that aren’t going to put me in debt * Okay, this is a little better...maybe*

Oh, I think you will love this style since you are having a Summer wedding...*A short one...I mean it will be Summer and maybe I'm a modern bride... on second thought NOPE! Gimme a long, flowing more traditional pretty dress...why is this so hard?!*

I’mmmmmm never going to finddddd myyyy dresss *hopeless, look in my eyes*

OMG!!!! I think I found my dress * ANNNNNND I think I can afford it!!! Second best day of my life!

Big kids and our baby

So now that Tyler and I have a cute apartment. We decided to add to our little ‘family’. We now own a red Siamese fighter (Beta) fish named Themba. 

We have (well I have) adopted a chipmunk named Theodore, a few squirrels that eat the food I leave out for Teddy and a bunch of bugs that eat the plants I’m desperately trying to grow. But life is good in our little slice of heaven.

See my 'plants' (or what left of them on the left)

Seriously?! How cute is this little guy!

Teddy 'hiding' behind a mushroom

NOLA '13

October 2013 brought along with it a great adventure! I started a new job, working at Falk Legal Group as an administrative assistant. Our school newspaper attends an annual convention in various cities. This year it was in New Orleans, Louisiana and I got to go!

There was quite a few of us MATC Times staff that attended. Reporters, photographers and our business intern who sold all the ads that helps to fund the paper. It was really interesting hanging out as a group. The photographers were obsessed with lightening and taking the perfect picture (so even though I’m an amateur I fit in well). A good time was had by all (as you can see from the pictures.

A simple drain picture re-imaged as a work of art

A random store front painted in vibrant colours

The famous Bourbon street sign

A sunset in Louisiana 

Look at what I found in a tourist trap shop

Bourbon Street in all it's lightened glory

St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square

I meet two minions on Bourbon street!

Party time and flashy lights!

Kelly and I (she was the business intern)

Graduation and sadness

So I originally planning to write a post all about graduation and what fun it was…however just one day afterward my life was completely changed… this is the story…

The 20th of May was an incredibly exciting day for me, one day ‘til graduation! I was up late designing the African/American flag for my cap and missing my family as always. I got into bed with much excitement and high hopes for the next day…

I woke up to multiple whatsapp messages from my mom and brother, and to my finance saying “did you see the message, Rebecca was in an accident.”

My heart stopped. My mind raced. What do you mean accident? At that stage the only information anyone had was, she is in the hospital and alive. All my questions had to go unanswered. I got ready for my second to last day of college obsessively checking my text messages and texting “any updates?”

I got to class, gave my presentation and excused myself. I sat on the floor in the corridor of my college and was finally able to actually speak to my family. I got to see Rebecca. She looked unaffected, still beautiful and smiling and no facial injuries. But that of course was not the whole truth. She had broken her back and crushed vertebrae and as her big sister I felt like I should have been there to protect her somehow (crazy I know, since it was an accident, unplanned and unpredictable.) I felt like I should be there physically for my family. The whole day people kept asking ‘are you excited for graduation?’ Considering the fact that I had been reminding people daily of the approaching event, it wasn’t surprising. However, I didn’t know how to respond. Do I pretend that picking out my graduation outfit is the biggest issue currently on my mind or do I talk about it? What was it anyway, I knew very little of the situation and I knew that questions would ensue and answers, well I couldn’t provide those. 

Over the next few days I told those close to me and spent many hours messaging family and friends to either get answers or provide ones. It was difficult being so far away and many times I considered just flying home to be with my family. But since we didn’t know how long it would take (for Rebecca to make it out of the hospital and out of rehab) flying out for a week hardly seemed to make sense.

In the ensuing months I had a ton of support from family (mine and Tyler’s) as well as friends, but I always felt like I could never quiet satisfy the questions. Spinal injury outcomes are so hard to predict and it’s difficult to factor in human spirit, willpower and what can be accomplished. Many that heard about the accident said ‘well at least she is alive.’ A statement which is so true, she had survived and for that I will be forever grateful but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less seeing your sister in a wheelchair. The same sister who fought for her little life as a premature baby or the same little sister that I watched as she learnt to walk, talk and swim as a baby. It’s human nature to compare, to look back and take note of the differences. Lucky for us Rebecca’s nature revealed a power that I could never have imagined. A strong, graceful force that rose up to the challenge with a smile on her face, a kind word on her lips and determination in her heart.

I finally came home in January 2015, it was the first time I would be seeing Rebecca since the accident. I was a little nervous as I was unsure of what the situation would be like. It’s always like that after not seeing family or friends or a long time, but this had an added factor.

Rebecca came home and I saw immediately she was completely different. And no, not because of the wheelchair, she was this self-confident young lady, full of spunk and happiness (which I’m sure is greatly contributed to her boyfriend- Steven ) She wasn’t my little sister anymore. Watching her navigate the house with such ease was actually really impressive to see. She is so comfortable with her current circumstance that it put me right at ease, but she isn’t ready to settle, she is always looking for the next step and the next challenge to better herself and to better the circumstances of those in the same situation as hers, or worse. 

On my wedding day, I was lucky enough to have my sister walk down (aided by her walking ring, and her older brother…holding her flowers) the aisle. It was a milestone she had set for herself. After the rehearsal dinner Rayson, Rebecca and I practiced the walk to see the spacing, the distance and the timing. She did so well. I was beaming. Instead of taking this as her moment she quietly asked me, ‘are you sure you want me to do this, I don’t want to take up too much of the processional time and music.’ (Always considering others.) I told her I wouldn’t have it any other way, but since it was a lot of pressure on her I wanted her to be comfortable. She opted to do it, and it was beautiful. It is a memory I will treasure and I am so glad that we had family and friends there to share this milestone with, after all they were the best support system my mom, Rebecca, Rayson and I could have asked for.

I have watched as she faced challenges head on, never backing down. She has gained much respect between her community, peers, family and especially from her big sister. You always hope that you teach your younger siblings important lessons in life (like how to not get into trouble with mom) but you never think that your younger siblings will teach you life lessons, which make an huge life-long impact. (I originally posted this on a Facebook page we created to deliver Rebecca related updates.)

And yes, I did attend my graduation that night with my family in my heart and my country on/in my head.

My graduation cap

Awards (Lamp of Knowledge and Times Awards Dinner)

I recently found out that I had been nominated and had won the Lamp of Knowledge award. This is a great honour for me and something I had set my sights on ever since I had attended the ceremony the year before (when I accepted my Ambassador Award). The professor that nominated me had to write a paragraph or two about who they had nominated and why. This is what my professor said about me.

It is with great pride and distinction that I nominate Robyn Wiggill as the first graduate of the HR A.A.S. Degree Program to receive the Lamp of Knowledge Award. I had the privilege of meeting Robyn Wiggill the semester of FA2013 and have had the pleasure of teaching her for most of the required HR courses. As a student Robyn consistently excelled academically as well as demonstrated strong leadership skills within the college. She has served in a leadership capacity for several organizations including an officer for the HR Student Organization, MATC Times, and Student Ambassador for the college.

I am certain that Robyn will prove to be a viable practitioner in the field of HR...it has been my honor to serve as a conduit linking education to the practical application of the discipline of HR. I know she will continue to test assumptions, apply the law, and enhance the work environment and culture of any company that she is employed!

Congratulations Robyn as I know the best is yet to come for you....

My award!

We also had our annual MATC Times awards dinner recently. This is always a fun event to attend. It is the time when we are able to socialize with those who work so hard all semester long to make the paper a success. Oh, and the food is always terrific!

Last awards dinner I received a ‘special recognition award’ which was really awesome! However, this year I received an award for being the ‘opinions editor’ which is a beautiful looking award.

 At the end of the night they announced the final award, the MVP award. And I am super excited to say – I won!!! It was such a unexpected but great moment, where I felt like all my hard work had finally paid off!

Opinions Award

MVP Award

Oh Puerto Rico!

Patrick and Jenny, friends of Tyler and I decided to make the best decision of their lives on a beautiful beach of Puerto Rico. We are of course, totally in for the adventure! And even better, we were included in the wedding party. Party time!

We arrive in Puerto Rico just in time for sundowners and a lovely meal (although on holiday, any time is sun downer time).

We had an amazing time exploring the island, drinking margarita’s and celebrating love and forevers. I think it’s easiest if I just explain the pictures from the adventure.